Funny

The Panther’s Varsity Training Center is filled with more than just sweaty athletes.

It is now home to an extremely irritating and flesh-eating disease: scabies.

Scabies is a highly contagious skin condition that causes severe itching from sarcoptes scabiei mites, also referred to as itch mites.

The itch mites burrow into and lay eggs in the outer layer of the skin, resulting in nonstop itching and an angry rash.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, scabies is mainly caused by poor hygiene and is spread through skin-to-skin contact.

What is even more worrisome about the recent outbreak is the fact that this it is not the first time, nor the second time, but the third time the skin rash has wreaked havoc on campus.

There have been numerous outbreaks in the past three months, all of which have been due to a lack of proper hygiene practices.

“It’s almost second nature,” one athlete in a Facebook post. “I think the team has had a scabies problem longer than it hasn’t since I’ve started.”

While the athlete declined to speculate where the outbreak started, a Florida Tech coach has been investigating on his own.

“It’s a lot of he-said-shesaid, but I think I’m closing in on the culprit team.” The coach requested to remain anonymous. “Wouldn’t want it to be from my own court, you know?”

Showering , washing clothes and equipment and other basic cleaning practices that you would think to be essential to people’s everyday routines have proved not to be so essential.

The VTC will close down for a day so the athletic trainers can wipe down a few racks with a Clorox wipe and declare it “all good.”

“Hopefully certain players on the field will invest in some soap and a nice hot shower,” said the investigative coach.

Athletes might then be able to rid themselves of disgust and infestation, as well as put the rest of the student body out of misery and fear.