Florida Tech campus cat “Sergeant” Socks has left his temporary post as Director of Security.
Socks’ plans for increased security measures included knocking objects off of all surfaces at Florida Tech to ensure that nothing could ever fall on a student. He made limited progress on his mission.
Socks refused a salary during his short tenure, a move students called “noble.”
He requested his only compensation to be unlimited milk from the dispenser in Panther Dining Hall.
He received positive feedback in his brief moment of leadership.
“He knew what the priorities were when it came to safety,” a student who wished to remain anonymous said. “He was about to write me a ticket for parking in the middle of Country Club, but a little red light mysteriously appeared and he decided that was much more important.”
Coincidentally, she hurriedly tucked a laser pointer into her pocket as she spoke.
Not everyone was happy with Socks’ changes, though.
Dogs were strictly prohibited from entering campus for a time.
“I asked him why, and he just hissed at me,” one dog owner complained.
On the date of his departure, several fish went missing from the Botanical Gardens.
The feline declined to comment on any possible involvement with the disappearances unless licking one’s paw for five minutes is considered a comment.
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